Friends and things to do

cj Sez:  I had the good fortune to spend a few hours with two of my Mobile, AL writer friends at the Dauphin Way Baptist Church Expo recently. Betty Spence, whose newly released book of poetry “Traces of Presence” is wonderful, and award-winning poet and writer Mavis Jarrell who has a new short story out in the “Chicken Soup for the Soul The Power of Forgiveness” anthology. (Both of these books are available at Barnes and Noble.) The all-day affair had more than 100 different vendors of unique crafts, food, music. Doesn’t get much better than that.  

I’ve been toiling on the synopsis for my unnamed work-in-progress. As is my wont with all my manuscripts, the starting sentence has been re-worked a dozen times or more to fit what I am saying further down the page.  Basically, the starting sentence is my elevator pitch . . . twenty-five words that might pique the curiosity of an agent in the few seconds I have if we’re caught on an elevator together. The continually revised start has "kind of" stayed in the same tone, but the words have been moved around, removed, re-inserted, moved around again, ad nauseam.

For the rest of the document, I’m taking each chapter and creating a synopsis about it. The document will be chronological in terms of where things happen in the manuscript, and all the story threads will be neatly tied up, but it will include only major characters and major scenes.  

When I’m finished with the whole thing, I’ll ask another writer if (s)he can make sense of what the story is about and are there questions that need answering. Then I’ll get into edit cycle four, five, et al.  

FYI, here’s how the current synopsis begins . . . as copied directly from my document: 

UNNAMED SYNOPSIS romantic suspense, third person present tense active voice  

A woman’s brother escapes from prison, setting off a chain of deadly events that threatens a town and pits him against the man she loves. 

When BRYN McKAY, a freelance marketing consultant living in Colorado, tries to get her brother sober, they end up in near-tragic truck accident that lands him in prison. ROBBIE McKAY becomes a jailhouse convert to Islam, escapes, and vows to exact revenge on the people he believes put him there, including Bryn. 

Bryn loves and is in pursuit of naturalist and outdoor guide, CARTER DANIELSON—she thinks he’s beautiful (he is). Part Cherokee and part Swedish, blue-eyed and mocha-skinned Carter is a recovering alcoholic that balks at romantic commitments. That makes him all the more attractive to her, and she hypothesizes, You’d be so easy to love. If only you’d let me. A visit from the FBI, a threatening phone call from Robbie, and a break-in at her home persuade Bryn that Carter might be right when he says she’ll be safer if she celebrates her birthday on a Yampa River rafting trip with him. She doesn’t really believe her brother is a serious threat to her, but the thought of rafting the beautiful river canyon of Dinosaur National Monument is too appealing to pass up.  

Here's your chance. Tell me what you think. Would you like to read more of this story? I’d love to know why or why not.

Okay, you-all guys keep on keeping on, and I’ll try to do the same.

 

cj

The very apt 'toon is from Facebook.

 

PS:  Did you remember to “Spring Forward?”

 

Rule No. 4 and 3 questions

Beads of Mardi Gras 2015 Mobile, AL

cj Sez: . Having worked as a journalist for a few years, I tend to write sparsely, more often than not, too sparsely. To justify my methodology, I point to Kurt Vonnegut’s eight rules. In this case, specifically No. 4: “Every sentence must do one of two things—reveal character or advance the action.” I know what you’re thinking, and you’re right, rules are made to be broken. However, some are best kept for a while, especially by yet-to-be-bestselling authors like me.  

I pretty much write like a screenwriter. I visualize the scene and write to that. There’s no room for narrative in movies; it's all action. By necessity, writers of TV series think in terms of every scene and every line, because for each hour-long show, they have about forty-five minutes to tell a complete story, beginning to end.  

David Mamet, executive producer of the TV series, “The Unit,” had some serious instructions for the show’s writers. He was so serious that his memo virtually shouted. (He wrote it in all capital letters, and he had an "inviolable rule.") He directed his writers to concentrate on writing drama if they expected to keep their audience entertained. Because if they lost their audience, they’d be out of work. Following are excerpts of that memorable memo:   

QUESTION: WHAT IS DRAMA? DRAMA, AGAIN, IS THE QUEST OF THE HERO TO OVERCOME THOSE THINGS WHICH PREVENT HIM FROM ACHIEVING A SPECIFIC, ACUTE GOAL.

SO: WE, THE WRITERS, MUST ASK OURSELVES OF EVERY SCENE THESE THREE QUESTIONS.

1) WHO WANTS WHAT?
2) WHAT HAPPENS IF HER DON’T GET IT?
3) WHY NOW?

THE ANSWERS TO THESE QUESTIONS ARE LITMUS PAPER. APPLY THEM, AND THEIR ANSWER WILL TELL YOU IF THE SCENE IS DRAMATIC OR NOT.

(cj: Unless you’re writing a memoir, and perhaps even then, those three questions are pertinent.)

/ / / 

START, EVERY TIME, WITH THIS INVIOLABLE RULE: THE SCENE MUST BE DRAMATIC. IT MUST START BECAUSE THE HERO HAS A PROBLEM, AND IT MUST CULMINATE WITH THE HERO FINDING HIM OR HERSELF EITHER THWARTED OR EDUCATED THAT ANOTHER WAY EXISTS.

LOOK AT YOUR LOG LINES. ANY LOGLINE READING “BOB AND SUE DISCUSS…” IS NOT DESCRIBING A DRAMATIC SCENE.  (cj: They write loglines for every scene.)

cj Note:

A logline is a 25-word synopsis of your book.

A tagline is a catchy “movie poster” phrase.

 

Examples for Jaws –

Logline – After a series of grisly shark attacks, a sheriff struggles to protect his small beach community against the bloodthirsty monster, in spite of the greedy chamber of commerce.     (from J. Gideon Sarentinos  http://bit.ly/1D90FmH

Tagline – Don’t go in the water.

Check out David Mamet’s whole memo at: 

http://movieline.com/2010/03/23/david-mamets-memo-to-the-writers-of-the-unit/

Okay, let me know if what you think. Agree?  Disagree? Helpful?

Thanks for visiting Lyrical Pens. You-all guys keep on keeping on, and I’ll try to do the same.

 

cj
(Mardi Gras beads photo by Jeff D. Johnston)

What is needed

A new day on the Gulf Coast

In addition to the usual writerly things an author does during any given year (critiques, writing short stories, attending a conference or two, entering contests), my plans for 2014 include revising a romantic suspense/mystery, completing the first book in a detective series, and thinking through (is that called outlining?) a young adult fantasy. Several months into these projects, the dust is settling around me, and I wonder how much of this ambitious schedule is wishful thinking.

I completed my final edit (I thought) of the romantic suspense/mystery a couple of years ago, but it turned out that the theme became too close to a real-life tragedy…I didn’t feel I could send it out “as is.” Ergo, I’m doing a major revision. I will have to touch EVERY chapter and make sure the old plot threads are totally destroyed, and the new plot threads are connected from chapter one to novel ending. It’s a bit overwhelming right now, looking at touching every line of 400 pages, so I’m procrastinating.

I really like the protagonist in the new detective story that I want to turn into a series. There is a neat supporting cast as well. Jannecka Konner—“It’s pronounced Yahn-ecka, but my friends call me Jake.”—is a Yankee transplanted to the deep South. She is learning her way around Mobile, Alabama, at the same time she’s launching her career as a private detective. There’s infidelity, a murder with an unexpected twist, and a young boy in danger of being sucked into the foster care system. Jake’s sassy repartee with the lawyer who wants to be her lover is going to be fun to write.

The young adult fantasy I’m attempting is five chapters long, but it is now sitting on the proverbial back burner. Focus group review (six teenagers, most of them writers-in-training) persuaded me that I should rethink this story. The concept is good, they said, but the action needs to be beefed up. The story is written with a PG rating in mind, so I’m reading other PG YA novels for direction, dialogue, and development of characters. One novel I read was the first of John Grisham’s kid lawyer efforts. As expected, Mr. Grisham expertly develops the protagonist and the setting (time, and place), but I agree with another young reader . . . as a YA novel, it falls short. There isn’t enough action and there’s a lot of telling instead of showing. The reader also pointed out, and he is right, that some character threads were left hanging when the story reaches its denouement. Unanswered questions at the end of a novel (“hooks”) might be a perfectly acceptable method for most adult series but not for young readers. I was, however, able to analyze how Mr. Grisham develops a likeable character and appreciated the learning moments (how a trial works).

How much of my grand plan for 2014 is achievable?  All of it, I believe, if I set my derriere down in front of my computer for more than an hour a day. What is needed is discipline. Tell you what, instead of wishing me luck on completing my to-do-list, would you drop me a line and wish me discipline instead?

You-all guys keep on keeping on, and I’ll try to do the same.

cj

Photo by Jeff D. Johnston

New computer blues

Painted Buntings...outside my bedroom window.

I know writers that say they can’t write unless they put pen/pencil to paper (perhaps it’s the eye-hand coordination effect on the brain).  No matter, eventually, all writers’ words end up in a computer program in order to get published. That makes us incredibly dependent on hardware and software. We are set adrift (I tend to run amok) when something crashes, or some virus makes a breakthrough, or some manufacturer decides it’s simply time to make a change.

Right now, I’m suffering from Microsoft’s decision to cut the security/support cord for their XP platform. My desktop computer was too old to handle an upgrade to Windows 7 or 8 or 8.1, so I was forced to buy a new computer.

I would have LOVED a plug-and-play Apple but I had already disposed of all my disposable income for the month so I settled for another PC. I am now in my second week of trying to get the thing set up. The manufacturer had loaded stuff on the laptop that was incompatible with my IP provider who hadn’t yet upgraded their own system. Ergo, I could not get into my eMail. I contacted the provider twice and was talked through two different resolutions that didn’t work. (Sigh.) The manufacturer also loaded on a lot of “click on it and you may have to buy it” software that I had to uninstall. Unfortunately, it took only a few deletions to reach the point where I didn’t recognize what I could get rid of for fear of causing the whole computer to crash.

The upshot is I had to call a friendly computer expert. In less than an hour, Mr. Expert had fixed everything that the IP people couldn’t, had deleted all the bloatware, and he did it remotely. My next task will be to transfer everything from the old computer to the new one, and then reconnect with Mr. Expert to set up automatic backups to a 1 terabyte AND a 500 gig external hard-drive

Ain’t technology grand?

I just need to get my sprained fingers (another story) to heal so I can type with two hands, THEN I’ll get back to work on my stories.

In the meantime, you-all guys keep on keeping on, and I’ll try to do the same.

cj

NOTE: The painted buntings are so colorful they don't look real . . . but they are. They were migrating through Mobile and stopped for a bite to eat one morning. Jeff says he's still working on getting a good unicorn shot.