cj Sez: Time for a couple of show-don’t-tell examples, and these are wonderfully wrought by a master. Take note of the beautiful switch from passive voice to action that carries the reader along with the story.
Tell: The house had a huge and beautiful front yard.
Show: “The lawn started at the beach and ran toward the front door for a quarter of a mile, jumping over sun-dials and brick walks and burning gardens—finally when it reached the house drifting up the side in bright vines as through from the momentum of its run.”
(Can’t you just see that yard?)
Tell: The windows were open when I entered the room, the curtains flapping in a strong breeze that rattled the ornate picture frame on the wall.
Show: “I must have stood for a few moments listening to the whip and snap of the curtains and the groan of a picture on the wall.”
(You know from the whip and snap of the curtains that there is a sharp breeze coming through open windows.)
(Quotations from THE GREAT GATSBY by F. Scott Fitzgerald.)
Do these two simple examples give you any ideas for your story? If you changed something, let me know how you did it, won’t you?
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Stop back by Wednesday when Lyrical Pens hosts author Kristina Stanley who writes about a new app to help with rewrites.
Okay, you-all guys keep on keeping on, and I’ll try to do the same. And if you’re closing in on the end of NaNoWriMo, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
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