cj Sez: I wish you safe and enjoyable Memorial Day festivities, but please take time to remember that the day was set aside to commemorate the men and women who died while serving in the United States Armed Forces.
§§
Active vs inactive voice.
(The following are excerpts from an older blog by a prolific
author and fellow Sisters-in-Crime member.)
IN DEFENSE OF THE MALIGNED “WAS”
By Lois Winston
It happened again the other day. I received the results of a
contest I had entered and discovered that one of the judges had circled every
“was” in the entry and wrote in large capital letters -- PASSIVE VOICE.
Editors like action verbs. “Was,” along with its brothers
and sisters (is, am, are, been, were) is passive and a surefire way to a
rejection letter.
Wrong!
Passive voice is when an action is acted upon the subject,
rather than the subject acting.
The car was driven by
Anna is a passive sentence. Anna
drove the car is an active sentence. However, Anna was happy to drive the car is not a passive sentence. Anna is
expressing emotion. She is acting, rather than being acted upon. Of course,
there are more interesting ways to write the sentence to show Anna’s emotions,
but that’s a separate discussion.
One of the easiest ways to tell whether your sentence is
active or passive is to analyze the position of the subject, verb, and direct
object.
In active voice, the subject (the one performing the action)
will come before the verb (the action), and the verb will come before the
direct object (that which is being acted upon.)
There are instances, though, when passive voice is necessary
to the unfolding of a story or better suited to the realism of the dialogue.
When we speak, we don’t first think whether our sentences are active or passive
before uttering them. We just speak them.
Manipulate a sentence to avoid passive voice in
conversation, and you often transform snappy dialogue into stilted dialogue.
For example: Billy ran into the house and cried, “Mom! Come quick. Snoopy was hit by a car!”
This passage accurately illustrates the way a child might respond to a car
hitting his dog. Snoopy was hit by a car
is a passive sentence because Snoopy is being acted upon by the car, but the
child mentions Snoopy first because the dog’s welfare is uppermost in his mind.
Also, by placing the last sentence in passive voice, the author is actually
ratcheting up the tension. We don’t know until the very end exactly what hit
Snoopy. A stray baseball? A nasty neighbor? A falling tree limb? Although “A car hit Snoopy” is active voice,
using it actually lessens the impact of the sentence.
Still squeamish about the use of “was”? After you have
finished your manuscript, do a search of the word. Check each sentence to see
if you can rewrite it to avoid using “was.” If you can, and it doesn’t detract
from the pace, dialogue, or meaning of the passage, do so. If not, leave it.
Some “was” were meant to be.
Except . . . the subjunctive:
The what, you ask? Subjunctive case or mood is one of the
most misunderstood rules in the English language -- and virtually unknown to
most contest judges who will circle a “were” and write in a “was” because the
subject is singular.
 |
| Do you know how fast you were going? |
The subjunctive applies to cases of “wishfulness” or “what
if” situations.
In these cases, “was” becomes “were,” as in, I wish I were
taller. “Were” is also used when a sentence or clause uses “if,” “as if,” or
“as though,” but only in instances where the statement is contrary to fact.
Examples include: If I
were taller, I could see the stage better, Her twelve-year-old son acts as if
he were in kindergarten, or The maid
behaved as though she were queen. Because I cannot grow taller, the
twelve-year-old is not in kindergarten, and the maid is not a queen, all the
statements are contrary to fact, and “was” becomes “were” even though the
subjects are all singular.
Keep in mind, though, that the key statement here is “contrary to fact.”
“If” statements that are not contrary to fact retain the
singular form of the verb. “If I was at
Starbucks that day, I don’t remember” is a correct sentence because the
statement is not contrary to fact whether or not I can recall the event.
///
(cj Sez: I keep a list of the quirks and twists that I run
across, like the stink, stank, stunk. Do you keep a list, or do you run to
Google?)
§§
WRITERS: Whether it’s your first time writing a novel or just need a
reminder, here’s some info on word counts for different genres; How Many Words in a
Novel? (Updated for 2024) (reedsy.com)
§§
Okay, that’s it for
today. You-all guys keep on keeping on, and I’ll try to do the same. Raising
prayers for a happy and safe you and yours.
cj
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